9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Life is so much better after having sex.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
