You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
