Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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