help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
