Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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