whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
