like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize