I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
