Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
