he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
