I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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