If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
