I love black thongs
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
