Her vagina should come with caution tape.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
