You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
