no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
