Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
