You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
someone owes me an orgasm
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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