i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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