You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
