By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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