I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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