woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
