Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize