so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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