your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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