its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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