So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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