Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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