All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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