Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
