So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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