Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
