real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
