you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
