i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
