Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
