question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize