ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
