He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
