What did we do last night that was yellow?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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