Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
