Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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