i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
