I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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