I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
