Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
