thus making me awesome and them whores
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just gift wrapped bread.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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