no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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