Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
