I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize