I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She bit a glass in half.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
