Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
