guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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