In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
