Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Randomize
