just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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