Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
