how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
