I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
